aenna
Registered: Aug 10, 2008
Posts: 6
|
|
|
| #1 |
Hello! My first boy is now 4years and 2 months old. In our house lives another familiy with 2 children, the girl is the same age as my son, the boy is 9 years old now. My son and the girl play very often together and really like each other (most of the time).
In the last weeks, I recognized that the 9 year old often really disrespects my son, and I am not sure how to handle this. For exemple he takes things from him without asking, calls him names and so on.
On the other hand I am not sure how I like or want to "educate" other kids, means, I am not sure if I should say something to this boy and how, or if I should talk about this with the other parents or whatelse?
What they (the other parents in our house) often do, and I am not really comfortable with that is, that they tell my son what he should do or not do. For exemple some days ago he threw something on the floor and the other father told him to take it back, which my child did not want to (he was already upset because of something else), and the father told him again and again and finally really scared him, while they were sitting at the table together. Also not very respectful!
So, my question is: how to handle, if other parents want to "educate" my child (when the behaviour of my child is disturbing them in some way), when we live together very close?
And: should I on the other hand intervene, when I don`t like something a older child does to my son?
I hope you can understand what I mean (my English is not so good, I apologize).
Thank you for reading!
|
| |
jennyl
Registered: Aug 21, 2008
Posts: 12
|
|
|
| #2 |
Dear Aenna
Sounds like a challengin situation, i had a thought only that it could be difficulkt to talk with your house-partners about their approach - as this is the way they are, but you and your son could tlak about how the older boy (and his dad) make him feel when they take things/call him names / shout, etc. It might open things up for your son , empower him, let him know you are there for him, and so he can deal with it in his way.
Perhaps use the vallidation approach also with the older boy and even his dad so they feel heard also?
i guess its also an opportunity to talk aboput with your son, how poeple are different and hw we have a choice on how to be in the world (though it often doesnt feel like it!), and how things can affect us.
do you think the older boy sees your son being treated in a way he misses (as he is older)? Or perhaps wants to communicate but isnt sure how to
Perhaps you have dones this anyway...good luck in whatever you go for
love and peace
jenny
|
| |
